A codependent relationship can be defined as one where one person supports or enables another person’s poor behavior. The dependent feels loved and accepted while the enabler feels needed and has their need for approval met. Here are five surprising facts about codependency that you may not know. Click here to find a real solution for these issues as well.
1. Inability to Say No
Many codependents find it impossible to say no. Therefore, they take on more responsibilities than they can handle so that others will be pleased. The caregiver feels extreme anxiety whenever they try to say no. A person’s inability to say no often leaves them angry because they feel that they are being manipulated.
The combination often results in passive-aggressive behaviors that the person has a hard time controlling. People who are constantly saying yes to another individual often end up feeling stressed because they have less time to take care of the things that matter most to them. The inability to say no often leads to burnout and may start showing up with more physical symptoms such as colds and cases of flu.
2. Problems with Intimacy
People who are codependent often have trouble forming intimate relationships. While this often causes problems in the bedroom, it can also cause problems outside the bedroom as well. People often fear being rejected, so they do anything to stay in the relationship.
One person may complain that the other one is continuously unavailable while the other one feels like they are constantly being smothered. Many codependents feel that they are unable to love themselves, so they are constantly looking for intimacy. Yet, they continually push it away for fear of being smothered. Codependents were often pushed away or emotionally abandoned as children, so they do not have good feelings about their own self-worth.
3. Feel Very Vulnerable
People in a codependent relationship often feel very vulnerable. Therefore, they often choose to deny that they have a problem. They may secretly admit they have one, but their need to constantly be the one giving and never receiving makes it hard for them to accept help.
On the other hand, if they are the one being taken care of, then they may feel that they cannot possibly care for themselves, so if their partner tries to break away, they will try to hold them even tighter or bounce into another codependent relationship.
4. Communicate Dysfunctionally
People who are codependent often do not communicate honestly for fear of being rejected or left alone. They also do not communicate effectively because of their need to manipulate others. There are many problematic communication problems that can be seen in codependency.
One of the most common is the need to blame others when things go wrong because they are desperately in need of other people’s constant approval. Another problem is that they often try to solve everyone else’s problem by sprouting advice even when they do not know anything about a subject.
5. Extremely Reactive
Since the codependent has a hard time establishing boundaries between themselves and others, they are extremely reactive. This can exhibit itself as believing everything that you are told. On the other hand, it can also exhibit itself as constantly being combative as you cannot accept anything as just the other person’s opinion.
If you are codependent, then there is help. Seek it out today so that you can recover. As you do, then you will be able to build strong healthy relationships.